If You're Not the One
by Cyberchao X
Summary: Songfic, first person. Sakura and Syaoran are getting married, and Tomoyo is supposed to be the maid of honor... Tomoyo x Sakura.
1. If You're Not The One

CCX: First off, you should know that I've spent _so_ much time searching for the _perfect_ place to use this song for a songfic, and here it is. Hope you enjoy it. Without further ado…

The Disclaimer! **Disclaimer:** Characters are property of CLAMP. Song Lyrics are by Daniel Bedingfield. Now, for real…

**If You're Not the One**

_If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?_

My Sakura-chan is coming over, and she says she's got something to show me that she thinks is going to make me really happy. I know, I know, I shouldn't be doing this. Deep down, I know she's better off with Syaoran. But she seems to have been drawing away from him recently, and much of that time is spent with her best friend—me. One of these days, very soon, I'll tell her how I feel. I used to be afraid that she wouldn't feel the same way about me, but now, I just feel like…like we're meant to be together or something. Oh, here she is now!

_If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?_

"Sakura-chan!"

"Tomoyo-chan! I have _great_ news!"

"Yes?" She didn't say anything, just put out her hand. "Ooh, that's quite a nice ring you've got there. Where'd you…oh…no…way. That's not…"

"It is!" she squealed. "Syaoran asked me to marry him, and I said yes! And I want _you_ to be my maid of honor."

"Wow…this is so unexpected. I thought you two were growing apart."

"Well, yeah, silly, he wasn't going to propose to me when he was so content. I had to show him just how much he needed me by his side."

"Oh…" I said, trying to mask my disappointment.

_I never know what the future brings  
But I know you are here with me now  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

"So, will you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be my maid of honor. I can't imagine it being anybody other than you, Tomoyo-chan."

I rued the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. "Anything for you, Sakura-chan."

"Oh, thank you thank you thank you! I love you, Tomoyo-chan!" Then she ran off.

"Yeah…I love you too…Sakura-chan."

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

"Stupid Sakura!" I fumed in the privacy of my own room, "How could she not see how much I love her? How dense can she be?" I picked up the eraser she'd given me when we first met. "I hate you!" I screamed, hurling it across the room. It hit the power button on the radio, turning it on. An English-language station. I started across the room to turn it off, but then I stopped. Even though I couldn't understand much of what was being said, something about it just seemed like something I should be listening to right now. (Note: English-language music really _is_ popular in Japan. Music, apparently, is universal; understanding of the lyrics is not necessary.)

_If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?  
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?_

_I don't know why you're so far away  
But I know that this much is true  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

I didn't know why, but I found myself trying to sing along with the unfamiliar words. The song sounded…sad. Perfect for my current mood.

_And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with  
I hope, I love you all my life_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

A word I understood, that I'd recognize in almost any language. "Love." This singer is lamenting about a lost love. Oh, how I could relate. Sakura!!

_'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away  
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today  
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right  
And though I can't be with you tonight and know my heart is by your side_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

The song ended. I was in tears. Maybe that wasn't the best thing for me, after all—now I wanted Sakura more than ever. That's it…I can't keep my feelings inside. I'll explode if I do. I know I can't change Sakura's mind…but I can't let her get married without knowing that I've loved her all these years. Ever since she came into my life eleven years ago…things have never been the same. I've been fully devoted to her, and her alone. And in return…nothing. Have I been a fool all of this time? By now I was on autopilot, and I was screaming at myself inside, _"Wait! Think this over first! Don't do it! Don't…no, put that down…no, don't you dare…!"_

"Hey…Sakura-chan? I'm sorry, but…I don't think I can be your maid of honor. It would be a conflict of interest. You see…I love you. I've always loved you. I've tried to keep it quiet all of these years because I didn't think it was right to burden you with my feelings, but I can't keep it to myself any longer. I couldn't just let you get married without at least telling you how I feel. I don't expect you to return my feelings, but I just wanted to tell you…"

BEEP!

CCX: I do hope I was convincing at the end there. It just sort of came to me at the end, to do it like that. As for the issue of why the song started before the radio turned on, I figured it would be too strange if Tomoyo turned the radio on right at the beginning of the song. More plausible this way.


	2. When It's Over

CCX: So for some strange reason, when this three-parter was in three separate oneshots, this one and the finale were deemed to be violations of the guidelines, but the first one wasn't. The second and third had also been placed in a C2 with negative connotations; the first, _wasn't. _Time to do a little experiment with how closely this site's mods pay attention...

**Disclaimer:** All characters are property of CLAMP. Song belongs to Sugar Ray.

**When It's Over**

_When it's over  
That's the time I fall in love again  
And when it's over  
That's the time you're in my heart again_

There, I said it. I've made my peace. Sakura will know how I feel. Time to make a clean break. I packed up only a few things, not wanting to bring anything that would remind me of her. All of the outfits I made for her, all of the tapes I'd made, even my cell phone. Anything that would connect me to my life here in Tomoeda. I _would_ bring the sewing materials and the video camera that I'd used to make those things, just in case I found someone else as wonderful as…her…my Sakura-chan. As if _anyone_ could compare to my angel…

_And when you go go go go  
I know  
It never ends  
Never ends_

Now, to leave a note, just so my mother doesn't get worried by my disappearance:

_I've gotten all I can out of life in Tomoeda. I'm leaving to pursue greater things. Don't bother looking for me. _Signed: _Tomoyo Daidouji_

I left it somewhere I was sure it would be found. Then I remembered that it would be impossible to just disappear. "I know you're still watching me," I called out to the bodyguards. "I'm leaving for good. I want to leave my life here behind me. So don't follow me!" As I started out the door, the phone rang. I sighed. No one here would be getting that, not when my mother was out. Anyone calling for me would've called on my cell, so a time when she wasn't home was as good as a time when the house was "empty". "Mushi mushi," I said impolitely.

"T-Tomoyo-chan? Thank goodness you're home. I got worried when you didn't pick up your cell."

My eyes went wide at the panicked tone of the caller's voice. "L-L-L-Li-kun?"

_All the things that I used to say  
All the words that got in the way  
All the things that I used to know  
Have gone out the window  
All the things that she used to bring  
All the songs she used to sing  
All the favorite TV shows  
Have gone out the window_

In his panic, Syaoran didn't even pick up on the fact that I'd used his last name instead of his first. "Sakura and I were talking, and she sounded like she was getting nervous about something, saying it didn't feel right, and then she just collapsed!"

I tore the note in two. "Did you tell her family what happened?" I demanded.

"No, I'm doing that next."

"You called _me_ before you called her own _family_! What's wrong with you?"

"I…I thought that's how she'd want it." Then he hung up.

How Sakura would want it…nah, she couldn't…

_I'm missing you  
I never knew how much she'd loved me  
I'm missing you  
I never knew how much you meant to me  
I need you_

"Sakura-chan…please be alright…" I held the unconscious young woman's hand, and I cried. Her hand felt warm. A good sign. I felt her forehead. Nothing out of the ordinary. She could've been sleeping if I hadn't known the circumstances of her loss of consciousness, and the pained look on her beautiful face. Oh, how I wanted to kiss those lips and breathe new life into her! …Oh, Kami, I've been reading too many romance novels.

Suddenly, there was a soft beeping. "Sakura's got a voicemail. Tomoyo-chan, could you tell me if it's anything important?" Syaoran asked me, handing me the phone.

"Why me?"

"She doesn't trust me enough to tell me the password. But I need to know if it's something important. You, she trusts. She would trust you with her messages, I'd think. She trusts you with everything."

"_Is that true?"_ I wanted to ask her, but she was still unconscious.

_And when you go go go go  
I know  
It never ends  
Never ends_

"I…don't believe it's anything terribly urgent considering the situation here."

Syaoran looked stunned. "You haven't even listened to it."

I smiled "…I have a pretty good idea of what it says."

"…Oh."

"Yeah. …Come to think of it," I said, dialing the voicemail and hiding the four-digit number from Syaoran, "maybe it's just as well that I got to it first." I heard my voice begin on the phone and hit "delete".

_All the things that I used to say  
All the words that got in the way  
All the things that I used to know  
Have gone out the window  
_

Actually, Sakura-chan had never _told_ me the password, but after hearing what Syaoran said, I had a fairly good idea. I got it on the first try. _"Same as mine,"_ I thought. _"I didn't realize you cared so much…Sakura-chan."_

_All the things that she used to bring  
All the songs she used to sing  
All the favorite TV shows  
Have gone out the window_

"Said something you regretted to her machine?" Syaoran asked. "Must be horrible to be able to take back those words under such unfortunate circumstances."

"I wish it didn't have to happen this way…but I'm glad I got this second chance. To think I almost threw away this great friendship…I'm so sorry." I turned to Sakura as I said this, but I was in fact still speaking to Syaoran. I had acted so petty, thinking only of myself…and all this time, I think I was right about Sakura. Yes, she's marrying Syaoran, but I think…I think she loves me more. I'm starting to wonder…if maybe she's been doing the same thing I've been doing, hiding her true feelings for _my_ sake, thinking that I'd be happier if we both found nice guys to marry. What a ditz…she couldn't see how much I wanted her? I made intricate costumes for her, I filmed her every move! She teased me about the way I idolized her, and still she didn't see that _she_ was my "special person"? After everything I said?

_I'm wishing you  
You never said you were pretending_

But _I'd_ been foolish, too. I had to be told by her _fiancé _how much of herself Sakura had given to me. "Sa…kura…"

_  
I'm wishing you  
You feel the same and just come back to me  
I need you_

"…Y-yes…Tomoyo?" And I cried.

_And when you go go go go  
I know  
It never ends  
Never ends_

"D-don't cry. I'm okay, Tomoyo-chan," she said, energy returning, "Just a bad premonition. I think…" she pulled me close, too close for her fiancé to hear what she was about to whisper to me, "I think I won't be needing you to be my maid of honor after all." And I just held her close, resisting the urge to kiss her. Then I decided that it wouldn't look too suspicious if I kissed her on the cheek, and did so.

_When it's over  
Can I still come over  
And when it's over  
Is it really over_

"Wow. Looks like Tomoyo-chan's really got a thing for Monster. If I didn't know better…"

"Don't call me Monster!" Sakura interrupted her brother, and I just smiled. Such a sweet, sweet girl.

_When it's over  
That's the time I fall in love again_

"You should've said something, you know. I was counting on you saying something."

We were back at my house, just the two of us. "You knew how I felt? And you didn't say anything? You really _are_ a monster!"

"I…I wasn't sure. I had a feeling, but…I wasn't sure enough of myself to go after you. And you seemed to be trying to foster my relationship with Syaoran-kun. So I just waited. Waited for you to figure out just how much…"

"…I needed you by my side," I finished, remembering what she had said about how she'd gotten Syaoran to propose. "You didn't have to go through all that trouble."

_All the things that I used to say  
All the words that got in the way  
All the things that I used to know  
Have gone out the window  
All the things that she used to bring  
All the songs she used to sing  
All the favorite TV shows  
Have gone out the window_

"Yeah, but would that really be right?" Sakura asked with a laugh. I wasn't sure what was so funny. "You loved me long before I had ever seen you as more than just a friend. In fact, it wasn't until I started to think about the rest of my life with Syaoran that I realized that I couldn't live without you."

"I…did say something. I left a message. I told you that I couldn't be your maid of honor, that it would be a conflict of interest, and that I loved you and that I had always loved you. And then I prepared to leave everything behind, all the tapes, all the outfits, even get a new cell phone, and start over elsewhere. And I was on my way out the door when Syaoran called and told me what had happened. And if he'd called your family before trying to reach me, he probably would've missed me entirely. _You_ probably would've missed me entirely."

"He-he called you first?"

"Said he thought that's what you would've wanted. He also said that I'm the one you trust the most. When your phone started beeping, indicating that there was a voicemail, he wanted to find out if it was anything important—and gave the phone to me, thinking that even though _he_ didn't know your password, _I_ might. And I got it right on the first try. It's the same as mine." Then Sakura-chan gave me her biggest smile, and it felt like we were little kids again. We were just…happy. "He knew. Deep down, he knew that _I_ was more important to you than he was. And he loves you enough to think of _your_ desires first. He's a better person than me…"

_All the things that I used to say  
All the words that got in the way  
All the things that I used to know  
Have gone out the window  
All the things that she used to bring  
All the songs she used to sing  
All the favorite TV shows  
Have gone out the window_

"Don't say that." She gently stroked my back. "You're the best person I've ever met."

"If you'd heard the message, you'd think I was selfish. I only thought of what _I_ wanted. Sure, it turned out to be what you wanted as well, but…" I trailed off. "And you knew when you accepted Syaoran's proposal?"

Sakura nodded. "I thought that would be enough to get you to confess your feelings. I asked you to be my maid of honor expecting you to absolutely forbid it, to tell me that you wanted me for yourself…and you surprised me. You agreed."

"I didn't want to. The words just came out of my mouth."

"'Anything for you, Sakura-chan.' I remember. That was when I knew. You were hurting inside…so I told you exactly how I felt. And then I left, and I waited for you to come after me. Only…you never came." She frowned. "And I got discouraged, and I thought you might actually let me go through with this marriage. So I started to tell Syaoran that I wanted to call it off, that it wasn't right…but I couldn't stop thinking about you, and it weighed so heavily on my mind…"

"I'm sorry," I cried. "I didn't…I didn't mean to worry you. I'm so sorry…I'm sorry I even _thought_ of leaving you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Oh, I think there's a way," my best friend grinned, and suddenly the taste of her lips was in my mouth. Sorry, kids, you'll have to leave now. The adults are playing.

_All the things that I used to say  
All the words that got in the way  
All the things that I used to know  
Have gone out the window  
All the things that she used to bring  
All the songs she used to sing

* * *

_CCX: Not done yet. I felt this one would be best as the second one, explaining what happened after the previous one, but let's go a bit more in depth than Sakura's explanation. Yes, we're going to go back to the events of "If You're Not the One"…only this time, Sakura-chan will be narrating.


	3. I Gotta Get Through This

**I'm Gonna Get Through This**

CCX: Yes, I was considering this song for what eventually became "When It's Over", then realized it wasn't right and briefly started a non-songfic before finding the perfect song. Then I realized that this song would work nicely for the Sakura-centric "When It's Over" prequel, "If You're Not the One", um, "co-quel". (Yeah, I totally just made that word up.) Anyway, disclaimer time.

**Disclaimer:** All characters property of CLAMP. Song lyrics by Daniel Bedingfield.

_If only I can get out this  
I just gotta get through this_

My relationship with Syaoran Li was intensifying, and it seemed like he wanted to make things official between us. I should've been happy. Why was I not happy?

I knew why I wasn't happy. Tomoyo Daidouji, my very best friend in the entire world, had been acting different lately. Tomoyo has always had a bizarre devotion to me, and has always seemed so interested in my happiness that she has no time for her own. Her idol-worship could be a bit embarrassing at times when we were younger, but now…I found myself only wanting to repay her for all of those years. I wanted to make _her_ happy.

_I gotta get through this  
I gotta get through this  
I gotta make, gotta make it, gotta make it through_

I can just hear her now, though. "If you're happy, I'm happy," she'd say. She was always the one who said that if someone else made her special person happier than she could make…that person, she'd be happy.

I don't think there is any such person. I've suspected for awhile that I might be that person. And as weird as it seems, she _is_ the one that makes me happiest. When she's around…nothing can go wrong.

So I did the only logical thing. I started pulling away from Syaoran and spending more time with Tomoyo.

_Said, I'm gonna get through this  
I'm gonna get through this  
I gotta take, gotta take my mind off of you_

And it worked for awhile. Tomoyo was happier now that I was spending more time with her…and so was I. I only wish she could've seen that…but no. She still remained devoted to her fairy-tale ideals, which meant me and Syaoran as the perfect magical couple. She can be so dense sometimes… Then it happened.

Syaoran asked me out to dinner.

And proposed to me.

_Give me just a second and I'll be alright  
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart  
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay  
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight_

"This time we've spent apart," he began, "it's made me see just how much I need you. I want you by my side forever. Sakura Kinomoto…will you marry me?"

I was stunned. This was not right. Unfortunately, my mouth wasn't cooperating with my brain today. "Yes," I said. A mistake.

Or maybe not. Faced with the prospect of her fairy tale actually panning out, would Tomoyo-chan keep up her façade? Or would she cave to her basest desires and play the part of the "evil witch", putting the princess under her spell. I always thought it was odd that the villains in these fairy tales were almost always female, and they almost always tried to take something from the princess, taking a part of her away. I didn't want Tomoyo to take away just a part of me. I wanted her to take all of me. Oh, Kami, I've been reading too many romance novels!

Her façade involved _wanting_ the fairy-tale ending. Therefore, what I was about to say wouldn't be a total lie. "Can I come over to your place, Tomoyo-chan? I've got something to show you that I think is going to make you _really_ happy." I could barely hold my laughter until after she'd given the affirmative and I'd hung up.

_When your love is pouring like the rain  
I close my eyes and it's gone again  
When will I get the chance to say I love you_

"Sakura-chan!"

"Tomoyo-chan! I have _great_ news!"

"Yes?" she asked. I held out my hand.

"Ooh, that's quite a nice ring you've got there. Where'd you…oh…no…way. That's not…"

"It is! Syaoran asked me to marry him, and I said yes! And I want _you_ to be my maid of honor." There's no way she'd agree to that…would she?

"Wow…this is so unexpected. I thought you two were growing apart."

"Well, yeah, silly, he wasn't going to propose to me when he was so content. I had to show him just how much he needed me by his side." _"The thought of losing your chance at someone forever can do that, can't it, Tomoyo-chan,"_ I thought.

"Oh…" she said, trying to mask her disappointment and failing miserably. _"Say it, you idiot! Tell me that you love me, that you can't live without me!"_

_I pretend that you're already mine  
Then my heart ain't breakin' every time  
I look into your eyes_

"So, will you do it?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Be my maid of honor. I can't imagine it being anybody other than you, Tomoyo-chan." _"Unless, of course, you'd rather be my bride, which I could _totally_ live with."_

Then the words that crushed me the most, a veiled confession. "…Anything for you, Sakura-chan." _"Damnit, you'd better mean it! If you back down and let me go through with this, you're in serious trouble!"_

"Oh, thank you thank you thank you! I _love_ you, Tomoyo-chan!" Then I left, waiting for her to run after me, begging me to come back.

"Yeah…I love you too…Sakura-chan." Too quiet for me to have heard if I hadn't been deliberately listening for her approach with the aid of the Sakura Cards. _"Life is not a romance novel…STUPID STUPID STUPID, SAKURA! _WHY_ did you put the burden of confession on her?"_

_If only I could get through this  
If only I could get through this  
If only I could get through this  
God, God, gotta help me get through this_

I considered going back to her and telling her my true desires, but after that little display I made of thanking her for being my maid of honor, she'd be mad if she found out I was only playing her. And besides, she'll still be there, waiting for me, on my…(gulp) _wedding day_. Kami, save me!

_I gotta get through this  
I gotta get through this  
I gotta make, gotta make it, gotta make it through_

So, then, my first order of business was to talk it over with my "fiancé". Then, once he understood the situation, I'd take care of getting stupid Tomoyo to own up to the fact that she's been absolutely head-over-heels in love with me since the third grade. I figured it out back in high school, really. The way she always devoted herself to my needs…the way she didn't seem to go after any boys, yet talked about a "special person"… And at first, I was a little frightened of what might happen if she found out that I'd figured it out. Then I realized that she was too absorbed in her fantasies to notice, and I began to tease her. Innocently. It was fun…but then, a year or so back, I suddenly realized what my teasing really was. I was flirting back with her. That was when I knew that I'd been making a mistake, and that I'd had my "Mr. Right" with me all along, only it wasn't a "Mr." at all.

I wasn't about to say all of that to Syaoran, though. "I've been thinking…something just doesn't feel right." _"Namely, YOU'RE NOT TOMOYO!!" _

_Said, I'm gonna get through this  
I'm gonna get through this  
I gotta take, gotta take my mind off of you_

"About what?" he asked.

"About, y'know…us. Getting married."

"Oh." He looked dejected. "I _thought_ your response seemed a bit dispirited."

"I _do_ love you, Syaoran, really I do; it's just—" I stopped myself from saying that I loved Tomoyo more, "—I don't think I'm ready to tie myself to a man for the rest of my life. I know that sounds really archaic…" And it was, since I was living in the more enlightened days where a woman can tie herself to another woman instead, thank the stars.

_Give me just a second and I'll be alright  
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart  
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay  
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight_

"Yeah…okay. I understand. There's someone else you want more, isn't there?"

"_Tomoyo!"_ my brain screamed out, as my mouth quickly replied, "NO!" Not wanting to be a liar, I added, "I assure you, no man holds more of my heart than you do."

"I know, Sakura-chan. I know." And he winked at me.

He knew. _He_ knew. He knew that he was proposing to a woman who would rather be with another woman. He knew about me and Tomoyo.

I felt his arms catching my head, heard him yell my name, and then everything went black.

_When your love is pouring like the rain  
I close my eyes and it's gone again  
When will I get the chance to say I love you_

The next thing I remembered hearing was the words "I'm sorry." It was the voice of an angel, but I knew that I had not died, for I recognized that angel's voice as _my_ angel. My sweet Tomoyo. Syaoran was there too, and my father and brother… Oh…if Syaoran and Tomoyo have both been there for awhile, he may have told her everything…I had wanted to tell her myself. Wait…were we in a hospital? My first thought was that I was probably wearing one of those backless gowns and that my beloved would be able to see my butt if I got up right now, and I blushed. Then I almost started to laugh at the fact that I'd thought of something so trivial after coming out of, well, whatever it was I'd been in, but it seemed Tomoyo hadn't even noticed I was awake yet. "Sa…kura…" She was crying. She _must've_ known how I felt by this point.

I decided to tease her a bit more. "Y-yes…Tomoyo?"

_I pretend that you're already mine  
Then my heart ain't breakin' every time  
I look into your eyes_

"D-don't cry, Tomoyo-chan. I'm okay. Just a bad premonition." _"Yeah…I saw a life without you, you silly, stupid…absolutely perfect girl."_ "I think…" I pulled her close, breathing in her radiant aura, "I think I won't be needing you to be my maid of honor, after all." Jackpot. She was all mine. Unsure of whether she'd go for a public display of affection, I flushed when she kissed my cheek. _"Yes, Tomoyo-chan, that's right…show me that you love me in a way that won't draw any suspicions. Thank you…"_ It was over. I had her. I'd survived my potential "wedding".

Touya cut in. "Wow. Looks like Tomoyo-chan's really got a thing for Monster. If I didn't know better…"

"Don't call me Monster!" I interrupted. Thanks for that, Touya. Hopefully it distracted Tomoyo from the fact that she's just been played like a violin…although fainting in Syaoran's arms was _not_ part of the plan.

_If only I could get through this  
If only I could get through this  
If only I could get through this  
God, God, gotta help me get through this_

"You should've said something, you know. I was counting on you saying something," I chastised her back at her house.

"You knew how I felt? And you didn't say anything? You really _are_ a monster!"

"I…I wasn't sure. I had a feeling, but…I wasn't sure enough of myself to go after you. And you seemed to be trying to foster my relationship with Syaoran-kun. So I just waited. Waited for you to figure out just how much…"

"…I needed you by my side," she finished, remembering what I'd said. "You didn't have to go through all that trouble."

"Yeah, but would that really be right?" I laughed. "You loved me long before I had ever seen you as more than just a friend. In fact, it wasn't until I started to think about the rest of my life with Syaoran that I realized that I couldn't live without you." To my surprise, she confessed something that really scared me.

"I…did say something. I left a message. I told you that I couldn't be your maid of honor, that it would be a conflict of interest, and that I loved you and that I had always loved you. And then I prepared to leave everything behind, all the tapes, all the outfits, even get a new cell phone, and start over elsewhere." My eyes practically bugged out. Had my stupidity nearly cost me my beloved Tomoyo forever? "And I was on my way out the door when Syaoran called and told me what had happened. And if he'd called your family before trying to reach me, he probably would've missed me entirely. _You_ probably would've missed me entirely."

"He-he called you first?"

"Said he thought that's what you would've wanted. He also said that I'm the one you trust the most. When your phone started beeping, indicating that there was a voicemail, he wanted to find out if it was anything important—and gave the phone to me, thinking that even though _he_ didn't know your password, _I_ might. And I got it right on the first try. It's the same as mine." Of course it was. The day we'd met…I purposely chose that in case she ever needed to get to my voicemail. Didn't think that Syaoran would've realized that Tomoyo would know my password, though… "He knew. Deep down, he knew that _I_ was more important to you than he was. And he loves you enough to think of _your_ desires first. He's a better person than me…"

_If only I could get through this  
God, God, gotta help me get through this  
If only I could get through this  
God, God, gotta help me get through this_

She was becoming sad again. I had to do something. I started stroking her gently, more in a mothering sense than in a sensual manner, although in her current state I figured she'd just be grateful for my touch, and said, "Don't say that. You're the best person I've ever met."

"If you'd heard the message, you'd think I was selfish. I only thought of what _I_ wanted. Sure, it turned out to be what you wanted as well, but…" She trailed off. "And you knew when you accepted Syaoran's proposal?"

I nodded. "I thought that would be enough to get you to confess your feelings. I asked you to be my maid of honor expecting you to absolutely forbid it, to tell me that you wanted me for yourself…and you surprised me. You agreed."

"I didn't want to. The words just came out of my mouth."

"'Anything for you, Sakura-chan.' I remember. That was when I knew. You were hurting inside…so I told you exactly how I felt." _"You weren't paying attention though, were you, and thought I only meant that I loved you as a friend?"_ "And then I left, and I waited for you to come after me. Only…you never came. And I got discouraged, and I thought you might actually let me go through with this marriage. So I started to tell Syaoran that I wanted to call it off, that it wasn't right…but I couldn't stop thinking about you, and it weighed so heavily on my mind…"

_If only I could get through this  
I just gotta get through this  
I just gotta get through this_

"I'm sorry," she interrupted through tears, "I didn't…I didn't mean to worry you. I'm so sorry…I'm sorry I even _thought_ of leaving you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Oh, I think there's a way," I grinned, leaning in to taste the lips I'd wanted for so long, knowing that it would soon lead to something more. Other things I'd wanted…hey you're not supposed to still be here! This is between me and my Tomoyo-chan!

* * *

CCX: And the tease works well here because this group of fics is K+. Yeah, I realized as I was writing it that it'd be better to write this as a re-telling of both of the first two from Sakura's point of view. So, what did you think? Good? Bad? Too much angst for K, ought to be moved up to T? You have to review!


End file.
